A CONSPIRACY UNMASKED
by Abbyforth
Summary: Set during the short rest in Rivendell. A harmless prank by the elves is saved from disaster by Bilbo.


A CONSPIRACY UNMASKED

By Abbyforth

A/n: Hello all! Welcome to my first Hobbit fanfic! This was written for an English assignment in which we were tasked to write about food. I had no idea this would evolve to this silly little story. Also Lindir was a new character for me to write. I hope I did our minstrel justice! Enjoy and please read and review!

Lindir strode quickly down the airy halls of Imladris, his destination Elrond's study. He needed to speak to his lord about the unusual guests who had arrived last week. The istar Mithrandir he could deal with quite pleasantly and had on many occasions. He could even deal with a few eccentricities such as the fact that there was rarely any warning when he would arrive. But the dwarves had angered and mystified the minstrel and head of Elrond's house staff ever since he had greeted their party the previous week. He could care less what they wanted from his lord or why they stayed in the last homely house to begin with. Lindir prided himself on being indifferent versus outwardly hostile of dwarves like his woodland neighbors but he did not pretend to understand them. Therefore he had been quite annoyed at their behavior thus far. They had no respect for cleanliness or common manners not that Lindir had been surprised in the slightest. But bathing In THE LADY Celebrïan'S fountain had been the last straw and was why he was visiting Elrond on this fine morning. He was not alone when he was bid to enter the study by a tired-looking Elrond. Golden-haired Glorfindel and dark-haired Erestor were also in attendance.

"…must give them a chance. I know that our races have not been cordial in the past but the line of Durin in particular I feel shall be major participants in the events to come." Elrond was always too cryptic much like the lady Galadriel of Lothlorien. "And what has been happening in the kitchens? I have heard complaints from our guests that they are only being served vegetables. Lindir do you know anything about this?" The minstrel noticed the other two looking slightly nervous at Elrond's question. He was surprised that the two of them had been involved since he had heard nothing from the kitchen staff about the others taking part in this prank.

"It was only in jest. We thought they understood it not to be an insult. And before you ask my lord your sons had nothing to do with this." Glorfindel as always was quick to reassure. Elrond did not respond immediately. Instead he stood and strode towards a cabinet containing goblets and a small bottle of fortifying wine which he uncorked and proceeded to pour into a crystal tumbler. Then he rolled his eyes heavenwards in a pose of one who is utterly exasperated and drained the wine in a single swallow.

"Valar give me strength. If my sons were not currently in the mountains killing orcs I would think them in on this as well. Do you know what your harmless jest has caused? No wonder dwarves think us silly and rather high and mighty! Would you blame them? Being immortal has its drawbacks but you would think" here he gave a rather significant look in Glorfindel's direction, "that we would have better things to do with our endless time than play pranks on unsuspecting guests! I do not want to make this an order but I will if I must. Whoever played a part in this must find our guests, especially the Halfling, and apologize for any inconvenience they might have caused."

Lindir bowed deeply and followed Glorfindel and Erestor from the study feeling like a chastised elfling for the first time in two thousand years. It did not help that Elrond had brought the hobbit's love of good food into this as well. Lindir's first stop was to order the cooks to prepare a plate of honey cakes especially for the hobbit. Hobbits were gentle creatures as far as Bilbo's stories were concerned and did not need to be involved in the age-old strife between elves and dwarves.

Therefore it was rather ironic that when the three hapless elves found their guests they were dining rather glumly on their plates heaped high with vegetables, from the red of beets to the vibrant green of lettuce garnishes. Glorfindel was the first to greet the party.

"Hail my friends! We have been sent by lord Elrond to right a grievous error on the part of the last homely house. We did not mean to insult and have come to invite you to a feast in the dining hall to make up for this mistake."

Lindir wondered idly why Glorfindel had never been interested in public speaking or other diplomatic pursuits. If Erestor had been the one sent to deal with this he would have been none too cheery. As it was even Glorfindel faltered as the dwarves grumbled amongst themselves at this pronouncement. Finally a blond dwarf with an oddly non-existent beard spoke up.

"We will be glad to attend this marvelous feast but must say that I for one am perplexed as to why we need be honored so." The three elves exchanged horrified looks as they tried and failed to come up with a solution that would not anger their guests further. They were saved from speaking by the hobbit who in pure sensible hobbit fashion said that it would be most excellent to attend the feast and to expect them at the normal meal time.

All was prepared in Elrond's main dining hall when the party traipsed in, of course tracking mud and other unknown substances onto the pristine marble floor in the process. Mithrandir seated himself to Elrond's right and the others filled in around him. It took the dwarves awhile to notice the food heaped high on the tables. There was the common enough bread, flagons of sweet wine and tureens of mouth-watering soups. Lindir sat a few seats down from the wizard and his lord waiting for the axe to fall. It did not take long for Thorin Oakenshield to cry in outrage:

"You have tricked us all along have you not? You are not unlike Thranduil of mirkwood after all! I suppose we only have the wizard to blame in all of this." The leader of the company directed a rather impressive glare in the wizard's direction. It seemed that all hope of resolving this misunderstanding was lost when once again the hobbit proved to the perpotrators and Elrond at least why he had been picked to be a part of the company.

"Begging your pardon master Elrond. But do you happen to have more of those delightful pastries? You see they are Bombir's favorite."

And just like that the matter was miraculously dropped. Lindir sought out Glorfindel and Erestor long after the party had departed Rivendell and they vowed to themselves to give the hobbit whatever food he desired on his next visit as well as to thank him profusely for getting them out of the diplomatic crisis. Even if it had been a seemingly harmless joke.


End file.
